Teens and Tech
Raising Kids in the Digital Age
We live in a time of information. Everything we could ever imagine—and beyond—is right at our fingertips. All we have to do is Google what we want to know and boom, we have answers.
But it’s also a time when a simple Google search can take us down a dark and heartbreaking road.
That’s one of the reasons we’ve chosen to hold off on giving our younger children phones.
The Risks Are Real
I’ve seen it too many times—parents giving their child a phone with the best of intentions, only for things to go south quickly. Social media can be a great way to stay connected with friends and family, but it can also be a dangerous and discouraging place, especially for teens.
Strangers can look up their Snap, start conversations, send pictures—some appropriate, many not—and even begin stalking behaviors. The list goes on. It’s a sad, scary reality.
Our Approach to Phones
Our oldest, who’s 14, just got his first phone this past fall. We didn’t cave to pressure—we made the decision because we were tired of not knowing when practice was over (and him being the last one picked up!), and he was going on a weekend trip with our church’s youth group.
I’ll admit it: I was a Nervous Nelly. I wanted to be sure he was okay and being responsible.
We use Google Family Link, which helps us manage his device. We can:
Lock the phone during specific hours
Set limits on app downloads and usage
Monitor screen time
It’s a great tool—but not foolproof. I’m sure if he tried hard enough, he could find a way around it. That’s why our phones stay in common areas—never in bedrooms—and we make sure to have ongoing conversations about expectations.
He’s a great kid. But even great kids do dumb things. That’s why we have boundaries. They’re not to punish—they’re to protect. From the world, and sometimes, from themselves.
It’s Harder Than Ever
Parenting today is hard. I know every generation says that, but I’ve had older adults tell me they’re glad they aren’t raising kids in this tech-heavy world. And I understand why.
The peer pressure is different now. The bullying is different now. It lives online. It spreads fast. Kids are mocked for not having phones. Others are cyberbullied and exposed in ways that leave lasting damage.
Thankfully, my kids haven’t experienced that yet—but I know others who have, and it’s heartbreaking.
What Gives Us Confidence
A few things have helped us feel confident in the way we’re handling phones and tech:
We talk openly with our kids about technology, its benefits, and its dangers.
We share real-life stories of what can go wrong—not to scare them, but to help them understand why limits matter.
We remind them that we are in the world but not of it. As believers, we are called to be different, and sometimes that means setting ourselves apart—even when it’s uncomfortable.
“Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think.”
—Romans 12:2 (NLT)
We’ve also shared what others say about them. Older generations regularly comment on our kids’ work ethic, manners, and the way they can carry on a conversation. These encouraging words help remind them that they’re doing something right, even if it means being the only one without a phone in their friend group.
When we tell them these things, they stand a little taller. It gives them perspective—and it helps them cope.
A Word of Encouragement
Parents, I encourage you to pray about what’s best for your family. It may look different for each child.
When is the right time to give your child a phone?
What boundaries need to be in place?
Will you use parental controls or have a family tech agreement?
Will there be phone-free zones or set downtime at night?
How will you balance safety with independence?
These aren’t easy questions—but they’re important.
This parenting thing? It’s a long, hard, heavy road. But we can do this. Together.
